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13 September, 2008: [256/365], 11:08.51 [Saturday]
Filed under: Microfiction

Terrence set the pen back on the counter, as he was ordered, and put his hands behind his head. He turned around to face the crackerjack detective responsible for his apprehension. He wondered why, however, he was being apprehended in the first place. “Is it okay if I ask why you’re doing this?” he asked.

“Of course. You are under arrest for solicitation of two prostitutes, and for the possession of a kilo of cocaine,” replied Sgt. Dave Maxwell. “You have the right to remain silent,” he continued, reciting Terrence’s Miranda rights. He wasn’t going to let this scumbag get off on a technicality, this time, unlike those last five punks.

“Um, I wasn’t involved with that at all.”

“Yeah, tell it to the judge, dirtbag.”

“No, really, I had nothing to do with that drug sale, or the hookers. I’m here on business; I just arrived this morning from Washington. And if I recall, Argonne Falls has been declared the most drug-free city in Maryland,” said Terrence, a bit annoyed. “The city was just celebrating this fact last week! Besides, do you have any idea who I am?” Just then, three officers walked into the hotel Laundromat where the scene was occurring.

“Sergeant David Maxwell, I presume?” asked Officer Seth Futtermann.

“It’s about fucking time I got backup,” Maxwell grunted. “This guy’s a wild one; I really got my hands full this time.” Terrence rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, er, okay, ‘Sarge’, we’ve received calls from the management here telling us you are disturbing the peace. We need you to come with us,” Futtermann said. “Sir,” he said, turning to Terrence, “we are very sorry about this. ‘Sarge’ here is really a hobo from Argonne Heights flashing a badge and harassing people around the government district here at the Falls.” The policeman shot a look at the vagrant. “He’s managed to slip through our fingers thus far, but we got him. And we have you to thank, since you have his attention, we were able to nab him.”

“Sure, uh, thanks. Can I go now?” Terrence tapped his foot impatiently.

“You can do as you please. Enjoy your stay here in Argonne Falls, Senator.” Then, Futtermann and the officers accompanying him left the hotel with the homeless psychopath, where he was savagely beaten upon his arrival at headquarters. Terrence checked into his room and ordered two high-class male prostitutes and a kilo of cocaine from Argonne Heights. The rest of the day passed inconsequentially, as lobbyists would push for more stringent bans on science in public schools. Senator Terrence Randolph (R-MD) would return to Capitol Hill to introduce a bill to his colleagues to completely eliminate all biology curricula in Maryland high schools. The bill would be killed in committee, as Senator Randolph is widely considered an ultraconservative screwball by his mostly moderate peers and by his constituency.


1 Comment so far
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This made me laugh. 🙂 Thank you.

Comment by Lauren

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